Phone Phun

batI don’t like to get cold call sales calls on my phone. No one likes it. I really feel like I have been taken advantage of by slimy people and my number passed around like a can of Pringles. I got one today, they are always the same, the name and company are announced at the beginning of the call BUT you can’t understand it, and if you ask them to repeat it it’s always muffled. But they cheerfully bang on clear as a bell and when they ask you to do something, it’s perfectly understandable. This has been going on for decades BUT the current crop of employees has really deteriorated quickly. Here is one exchange:


I see the call is from offshore, I answer.

ME: “Hello”

SALESMAN: “This is (muffled) from the (muffled) Flo mmmmphhhh Sweepstakes mmmmffffffff And how are you today?”

ME: “From the MMMffffghhhhhh mipmip bla phfffft Company?”

SALESMAN: “Uhhh, yes from the Mffffttttt Sweepstakes Flooofffff Company”

ME: “Sweepers? I already have a sweeper. Do you mean a vacuum cleaner?”

SALESMAN: “No, the Mffftphhght SWEEPSTAKES Company!”

ME: “Oh, Mfffftphttt Sleeping Company! Why didn’t you say so? Why Sleeping, aren’t you supposed to be working?”

(Obviously, at this point the guy knows I am messing with him and he does the logical thing: he loses his temper)

SALESMAN: “F*#K! F&%K you! F&%K you! F&%K you! F&%K you! F&%K you! F&%K you! F&%K you!” the salesman says with a bit of passion to his voice.

I just have to start laughing. Here is someone trying to bilk me and he got beaten at his own game. The world is full of people like this and I don’t trust any of them. If you can get their goat, it’s worth a laugh. Any more, I usually screen my calls, a sad thing to have to do in this modern world, but necessary.

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