Making The Best Of An Ironic Fate

Well...I went to my yearly ladybits inspection at my Ob-Gyn’s office. Everything was just fine except for one aspect. She held the mirror up to my delicates and told me that I was allergic to the fragrance in soap! Dear me, WHAT? I loves my scented soaps! I love scented everything. I make scent. I live and die by scent. What am I going to do?

My doc assured me that my ladybits are the only places which look like they are affected by this sad affliction. The only thing to do is to now eschew my scented bath things and go fragrance free. “What a bummer,” I thought,”Why me, oh Lord? Why?” However. believing stoutly in the restorative powers of Western medicine I dutifully marched off to my local Kroger store to purchase Dove unscented soap. I found it in its pawkish little light green and white box. Phfffft. How…white bread. How…unexciting. The Fates have spat in my face and I am condemned. Alas! I also bought some of their liquid soap. I returned their liquid soap as it said “unscented” on the front but one of the ingredients they list on the back is “fragrance”. Note to rich bastards who make Dove Liquid Unscented Soap=If it’s supposed to be unscented that means it has no fragrance in it. Got that? OK.

Going home I had to give away all of the stash I kept under the sink. All the bath bombs, bars, scrubs, and liquids. I still has 23 gallons left over from the Big Barrel o’ Shampoo I bought from Sam’s Club. It is called Clean and smells great, OK, I know it’s a cheap tarty musk they bought from IFF BUT I LIKE IT. I am going to use that up while I find an unscented substitute. It will run past my lady bits BUT: a) my OB-Gyn didn’t say I had to give up scented shampoo (well, I know I have to but…I am going to use it up first as I don’t have a good substitute yet), b) If I use the shampoo first (and conditioner) then wash myself off next with the unscented soap that will get me back to normal…at least that is the diabolical plan.

Now it’s bath time. I step in the shower and pick up the soap. With a soulful sigh I start lathering it up. I also bought a BufPuf to replace the scrubs I used to keep my skin smooth (I smile as it is MUCH less expensive than scrubs and lasts longer—heh, now I can spend more money on beer and cigars I guess ha ha ha). With the warm wet air and my efforts to lather up, I am releasing a very nice smell. It’s not a perfumy smell it’s more of a soft and fatty fragrance. Hard to describe because we don’t go after it as a scenting agent, but it really signals the thought “clean” and does it in a nicely insinuating way. I am really liking this, and there is tons of foam. Once it rinses off, I feel like I am very clean but also very moisturized.

I like this non scented stuff.

I use an unscented deodorant, and have done so for years. The Thai Egg has kept me funk free for a long time, it’s real cheap, and lasts forever. So I step out of the shower odorless, clean, and very much invigorated. I thought I would emerge defeated, dull, and sad but that isn’t how I feel at all. Nice.

After I got into the fragrance free bar soap, I found Aveeno body wash in unscented and I was right on target. I am still looking for an unscented shampoo and conditioner and I am sure I will find one. I tried Dr. Bronner’s unscented BUT it really enraged my ladybits! The doctor said it was the wrong Ph. Oh well. The search goes on.

A couple of weeks after I stopped using scented soap I actually do feel better. I had no idea of how abraded I was feeling down there. Good news!

And the BEST NEWS is that after all of that, I can wear my beloved perfumes all I want (just not on my nether parts) and their smell comes through true, without any interference from my bath products. Instead of smelling like a cacophony, I smell like the one beautiful item I wish to use! So, this turned out to be a blessing in disguise! Thanks, doc!

This blog is brought to you by Possets Perfume which is the prettiest perfume anywhere!

Cityblis

Posted in Changes, General Comments, Perfume Oils, Possets, reviews, spring | Tagged , ,

Presumptuous Biz-Speak

reaching out

There are plenty of modern business cliches which are spouted every day. Since about the 1950s business has prided itself in coming up with comically nonsensical euphemisms for annoying things. Businessmen can seldom speak proper English and are often badly educated. They know this. Being in the presence of well educated people who can speak proper and effective English is very uncomfortable for them. So they resort to the false-elegance of using many syllables for something which really needs only one. It’s an attempt to elevate their status.

We have all had to suffer through “interfacing with the infrastructure”, “communicating through the telephonic device”, “malfunction of the service provided” and more blathery poop. Most of that is just grist for the humor mill. You laugh at your boss’ grandiosity behind his back and keep on.

The latest stupidity has appeared in my world about 6 months ago. “Reaching out”. Phffffft. It’s always used by some really low level flunky who is reading it off a card and wants you to buy some useless and expensive item, something that they will have to hump and bump you to buy, like a service warranty for your ear buds, or they may be trying to get you to add on to a contract that you bought,”…but your cat would love to watch the Mouse Hole Channel for only an extra $19.99 per month” or the dreadful “you can put it in the CLOUD [and get permanently locked out because you forgot your 23 character password].”

Often I have had them grandiloquently rrrrrroll their r’s as in “…rrrrrreaching owwwt to yooooo”. After we have all been through the humbling experience of the Great Recession, do we really need to continue to cling to the tired old idea that false grandness will get us anywhere? I would be a damned sight more likely to sit and listen to someone who was straightforward, courteous, and normal, rather that some comically pompous buffoon; only comically pompous buffoons talk about “reaching out” to people instead of e-mailing them or calling them.

Fabienne Christenson can’t do everything right, but she can speak and write mostly proper and acceptable English and she makes terrific perfume. Come and visit her site, www.possets.com and see for yourself.

Posted in General Comments, humor, Perfume Oils, Possets | Tagged ,

The Sleepy Bee In Oakley Cincinnati Ohio

The Sleepy Bee is as cute as a button. You might expect to find a place like this in Palo Alto. Now, mind you, most of the “avant” places I have gone have been disappointing, but Sleepy Bee delivers, mostly. Their premise is to have a nice restaurant with lots of organic and “clean” choices of as locally grown foods as possible. Do that for a reasonable price. 

I met a friend there, I got in early and was told it was a 5-10 min. wait (that was true). I poured myself a coffee at the bar (as I was invited to do) and repaired to the back room which is a comfortable waiting area with couches, chairs, and windows. There was a big wrapped new kitchen appliance sharing the space with us, but that wasn’t a mortal sin. 

I was called and given a nice table in the middle of the floor and my friend joined me. Nice waitress, automatic water with ice, I already had my coffee…now it was time to scry the menu. 

Good choices, especially for The Eternal Dieter. I chose a Bee Chop salad. I didn’t hear what my friend ordered BECAUSE IT IS REALLY LOUD INSIDE THE SLEEPY BEE. ALL OF YOUR CONVERSATIONS IN THE EATING AREA HAVE TO BE CARRIED ON AT A HALF SCREAM. YOU GET USED TO IT BUT IT’S A BIT TAXING.

My Bee Chop advertised avocado, feta, pine nuts, beets, kale, spinach and other stuff. I asked if I could have it with the chilantro ginger dressing. There was also a piece of bread which was supposed to come with. 

My salad was chock full of dark leafy greens. Lots of fresh and tender kale and spinach. Alas, the avocado was a very small portion. Very. Small. There were a few shaves of beets, a yellow piece or two, I found a pine nut, good serving of feta. No bread. I asked the waitress for it and she was very obliging, so that was OK. The dressing was about 100% oil. I could not tell there was any chilantro or ginger in it. It was filling and satisfying but not real interesting aside from it’s being so dark green. 

The coffee was really good. 

My friend actually got a bowl of chicken noodle soup, a small salad which looked like mine minus the teensy piece of avocado and lots of feta, and a side of roasted root vegetables. I only tasted the latter and they were OK. Red potatoes and what appeared to be yams…they were pretty bland, good for you but insipid. They would have been helped by a splash of lemon juice or a twist of Parmesan cheese. maybe a bit of balsamic vinegar? There was a cup of yellow dipping stuff which came with it but it was spectacularly bland as well.

I am willing to give The Sleepy Bee another chance. The price was good for a “clean” lunch, the service was very good, and if they would just spice it up a little bit they would have a winner. I am going back and I bet it will be first class.

 

This blog is brought to you by Possets® Perfume. A place very high on good grammar, and low on excess vulgarity (except for comic effect).

Cityblis
Sleepy Bee Cafe on Urbanspoon

Posted in Perfume Oils

SPE,D!

originalaristocratsThe above is an abbreviation for,”Speak Proper English, Dammit!” I am thoroughly sick of people who can’t seem to grasp the concept of the difference among: 1) cursing, 2) swearing, 3) vulgarity, 4) common rudeness. I will explain them to you and then you will know.

1) Cursing-To curse, you have to state that you wish something bad would happen to another person, place, or thing; and you have to call upon The Almighty to accomplish the destruction. A common curse is,”God Damn you!” “Dammit!” is also a popular general curse.

2) Swearing-Calling upon The Almighty to witness the truth of some statement. “I swear to God that if you boys don’t turn down that ‘devil music’, I am going to throw you all out of the car!” The speaker has declared to The Higher Power that they are going to do something if something else does not occur.

3) Vulgarity-Using coarse and offensive language is vulgarity. It really isn’t as bad as cursing or swearing because calling upon God is not the point. Vulgarity is used frequently in Western civilization, more now than ever. The purpose is to call attention to what is being said (“…What the F*CK?”), to ‘underline’ a statement as true (“I will f*cking KILL you!”), or for comic effect (“Can’t you be a good F*UCKING Catholic for five F*CKING minutes?”).

4) Common Rudeness-This can be all of the above. Cursing, swearing, and vulgarity are all forms of rudeness. Rudeness is the “umbrella” concept here. You can be rude without any of the other elements being involved, for instance: assault and battery is rude, sneering is rude, ignoring the pleas of worthy supplicants is rude, using the wrong fork to eat your salad is rude but not as rude and insulting a police officer whilst drunk by speculating on his mother’s profession and pass times.

I hope this essay has cleared up the parts of English anti-social elements and that from now on you are well aware of what you are doing when you do it. Trust me, you will be a much happier and more lucid speaker. English can be a slippery slope, don’t let it drag you down socially!

This blog is brought to you by Possets® Perfume. A place very high on good grammar, and low on excess vulgarity (except for comic effect).

Cityblis

Posted in Perfume Oils

What A Dreary January

Winged Victory of SamothraceJanuary feels like it’s eternal. The sky is gray, it’s very cold, everyone seems to be in a foul mood because it’s just not the holidays anymore. Boo hoo. The gym is packed with rows of grim new faces grinding away on strange machines. There is a small crowd in the free weights area. I have never seen any of them before, all wearing tee shirts several sizes too large with the sleeves torn off. I wonder if they tore them off with their teeth. They carry huge jugs of water wherever they go. They talk to their friends and they walk like stuffed teddy bears.

There is a lot of parading in the free weights area. There is more parading than picking up of heavy things. It is January and so that is what you will see. Men walking purposefully toward something. Then back again. Then back again. They remind me of bored fish in a fish tank. Round and round they go. I guess they are there to march around rather than strain something.

Every once in a while you will hear TREMENDOUS groaning and grunting. A gasp and then a horrendous CLANG! Everyone pretends they didn’t hear anything.

Some people think that yoga class is the only place for posing. Wrong, very wrong.

In about another week, as predictable as the migratory patterns of some birds, the newcomers will disappear and you will never see them again. Culled by the lure of Doritos and the Super Bowl, I will be left by myself in the “machines area”.

Perhaps there will be another “gym rat” trapped in the weights room with me. Usually someone whom you suspect of living in the gym because he never leaves. He is not a homeless man, he is a gym rat.

This blog is brought to you by Possets Perfum.

Cityblis

Posted in fitness, General Comments, humor, Perfume Oils, Possets, Winter

The Possets Winners From Yule Paradisio 2013

After the Possets fans voted their favorite blends, the results are:

1) Silver Vanilla
2) The Moon
3) The Damned Flower

Those three will become permanent and I will be announcing when I have sample sizes of them which you can order. Until then you can order the full 6ml size at the site. This was a very good collection but Valentine’s Day is coming. I will tell you when you have two weeks left to order the Yules. 

The theme for Valentine’s Day is Victorian Valentines! I will be re-releasing Dark Matter for the event along with the happy and the sad endings! Good times. 

Posted in Perfume Oils | Tagged , , , ,

The Awful Truth About Miley Cyrus!!!!!

I was standing in line in Meijer yesterday and my eye landed on the cover of a tabloid/scandal magazine which offered to divulge the peccdellos of Miley Cyrus, biggest bad girl in the media. What dreadful things could they say? How deeply could they shock us? It occurred to me that the most dreadful set of lies they could tell us about her would look thusly:

  • Miley goes to bed every night promptly at 9:00 p.m. after consuming a glass of warm milk.
  • She enjoys playing the piano especially the Etudes of Chopin.
  • Miley attends church at St. Steven’s Episcopal Church.
  • She hasn’t really had a boyfriend, but is saving herself for marriage.
  • She drives a late model Toyota and does not smoke or drink.

I am sure if some tabloid could prove all or even some of the above, Ms. Cyrus’ career would vaporize. :)))

Posted in Perfume Oils

The Reason The Queen Is So Appealing

the queenI was watching HM Queen Elizabeth II’s Christmas address and suddenly it struck me why she is so appealing in these yearly statements. She was talking about something which everyone takes for granted as if she had just discovered it for the very first time. It gives the listener a remarkable sense of “having one up on Her Majesty”. This evening, she was extolling the virtues of quiet contemplation and recommending that pastime to the listener as if she had just now tried a bit of it and found it to be just the ticket for a busy sovereign at Yuletide.

This blog is brought to you by Possets Perfume which is having a big 20% off sale starting Dec 26th!

Cityblis

Posted in Perfume Oils

One More Yoga Pose!

Look at the expression on my face! I really enjoyed yoga even at that age!

Doing a very hard version of The Seal.

This blog is brought to you by Possets Perfume!

Cityblis

Posted in Changes, fitness, General Comments, Perfume Oils, Possets, Yoga, Yules

I Told You I Have Been Doing This For Years—Yoga Memories

Here is a photo of me in the Extended Wheel when I was six!

Me in the extended Wheel at age 6

And I did do that again in Sunday Yoga Class (not the extended version though…but I am working on it). I do think your body remembers.

This blog is brought to you by Possets Perfume!

Cityblis

Posted in fitness, Friends, General Comments, Perfume Oils, Possets, Yoga